Thanks Daily Post for making my brain ache with the effort of trying to write a Genie-themed poem while avoiding clichés; oil lamps, bottles, wishes blah blah blah… so predictable, so ordinary. I yearn for original thought but my mind is being assaulted by song lyrics – Terrorvision “III Wishes” – If I had three wishes, I’d wish for five… all the way to a hundred and eleven wishes.
… and Cher “If I could turn back time” – my inner rock chick is less happy about Cher buzzing around my head right now.
So, back to the Genie prompt and some philosophical thinking.
Is wistfully longing for a way to change our past, present or future helpful to how we live right now? Yearning for some magic to vanish away war, illness, bring people back to life, make your foes suffer misfortune? It won’t ever change things for the better, there will always be consequences or may set in motion an even worse situation.
In life we have to deal with what we have in front of us at this moment in time. Yes, we can plan for the future and reminisce about the past. We can be the victim or the survivor. We can stress, fret and worry about anything and everything but we can only change things that are within our sphere of control. Some of our worries may be reasonable but worrying about them won’t necessarily change the outcome.
I had cancer.
I had treatment and have been NED (no evidence of disease) for 3 years 4 months.
Those are irrefutable facts.
I have a survivor mentality, which to me means that I now focus on living, on making my life the best it can be, given my circumstances.
Do I worry about recurrence? Sometimes, but much less than I used to. This is a reasonable worry, and that’s ok as long as it isn’t constantly in my thoughts.
Do I wish that they could tell me it would never return? Yes, definitely yes. But if they didn’t say that, then that would mean it would return… and would I want to hear that news? No.
We survivors live with uncertainty. But so does everyone else. No one knows what the future has in store.
It’s hard for me to imagine what I would wish for if I had a genie on hand, having cancer and going through treatment was horrendous (horrendous enough to leave me with PTSD) but having been through a life threatening illness has made me appreciate life more. It has changed me. I know that how I was living pre-cancer was too focused on the children. I now make sure my needs are also being met. If I hadn’t had cancer, would I be who I am today? No, I wouldn’t. I am a better person because of what I’ve been through.
So, what would I wish for?
And what would you wish for?
Thanks for reading,