… tomorrow is a new day

It’s a fact that humans have a great degree of resilience, the ability to bounce back from adversity and move forward towards a better tomorrow… looking for the blue sky while in the midst of a thunderstorm.

But it’s also true that our resilience can get worn away by sustained adversity. For example, workplace bullying: the first few times it happens, you will probably brush it off as the bully having a bad day, you will know that the work you’ve done is good and the comments unfair. You may talk it through with colleagues, friends, family, and you quickly move on. But if the bullying is sustained day on day, you may begin to believe what the bully is saying, you lose confidence in your work, your self-esteem is affected, sleepless nights are spent worrying about the next day. You become less resilient in managing the situation, but also less resilient in other areas of life as your stress levels are ramped up and your tolerance of frustration and annoyance decreases.

I am constantly being told (by mental health/medical professionals) that I am an incredibly resilient person, that despite every adversity I have experienced I manage to bounce back and carry on. By making the most of my situation as it currently is (during or after adversity) I take back control of my life and metaphorically stick two fingers up at whatever negative situation I find myself dealing with.

When I was going through treatment for breast cancer I used exercise as a coping mechanism, however horrendously ill chemo had made me (and believe me I wasn’t exactly the poster child promoting it) I was determined that by day 10 I would walk up the hill (in our village). My balance was shocking and I was on heart meds both due to the effects of chemo, I began using a trekking pole to help me. But I made it, each and every time. It may not have been fast but in getting to the top of the hill and looking out over the estuary I would feel that I was bigger than cancer, that no matter what it had taken from me I could still sit at the top of the hill (my happy place) and know that some things remained the same.

Going to have to finish there because I’m getting too emotional (she says with tears falling)… cancer sucks, I am grateful to still be here but, remember that rollercoaster? Totally derailed and carriages smashed to pieces.

Edited: please also read ‘Tomorrow is a new day part 2‘.

Comments

21 comments on “… tomorrow is a new day”
  1. “Sustained adversity” is a great way to explain the bullying at work I survived. When the HR dept. is part of it you have no chance. https://latenightgirl.org/open-letters-to-pret/pret-staff-complaints/
    I still try to recover and am in survival mode.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen says:

      It seems work place bullying is all too common, but sadly it’s not really acknowledged as a problem.
      Take care x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, that’s the depressing and hopeless part. It’s an epidemic and can really feel hopeless. As long as a company is mainly target and profit oriented, bullying will never be addressed or tackled. It’s the best to try and find a company that is not as money crazy, but in today’s society especially in big cities with all the competition and struggle to survive? But maybe I a too pessimistic. I certainly feel really hopeless with this.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Karen says:

        No, I think what you say is probably true. The focus on profit is understandable for any business but by treating their employees respectfully they will achieve more, keep the workforce happy and motivated x

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yes, profit is fine, but profit can happen and even increase when staff is treated with respect. I was a team leader and have proven this again and again with my teams. Simple things like saying “please” and “thank you”, encouraging people, working with and for them as much as theywork with and for me as a leader/supervisor etc.
        To me it is common sense, but for “greed” and people who just think from 12 to noon common sense isn’t very common. I’ve seen my teams thrive and relax and because of respectful treatment they performed excellent and much better than the bullying way my former company is using.
        The many nightmare comments from current and former staff speak volumes. And now they are so desperate to retain and win staff that they give £1000 to ALL their staff, whereas before you had to work at Pret for 10 yrs before you received a £1000 bonus.
        They think that ONLY money is an incentive while the bullying continues, ofen also very subtle bullying.
        It turns my stomach still. I’ve tried for 3 yrs during darkest grief to change the environment, but I did it all wrong and in trauma. Lots of regrets. Trying to get rid of anger and not become bitter.

        Sorry for the load.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Karen says:

        That’s ok, it’s not easy to get past things that have had such a huge impact on your life – whatever the cause. Take care x

        Like

  2. You sound like an amazing woman, and I think having a cry when we need it is part of being resilient. I’ve been looking for blogs to follow to widen my horizons, and have chosen to nominate yours for The Mystery Blogger Award. Thank you for sharing with us and being human! 🙂 x

    http://familyfurore.com/mental-illness/the-mystery-blogger-award-2/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen says:

      Aw thank you, that is so kind. I am historically a bit rubbish at responding to awards but I certainly appreciate being nominated!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure 🙂 I nominate to show my appreciation for your work, so as long as you’re happy, so am I. We often don’t know who reads our blogs and who doesn’t like postive feedback?! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Karen says:

        I’m happy! 🙂 Thanks xx

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Fantastic! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m glad you felt able to share that about your cancer treatment. I cannot imagine how it must have felt to go through that; and you are someone who I really admire because of your survivor spirit. Sending loads of love 💜💜💜

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Karen says:

      Right back at ya lovely, you are an amazing survivor too! xx

      Like

  4. ashleyleia says:

    I’m sorry it’s been an awful day. Hopefully a new day will let some more of that blue sky peek through. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen says:

      Think I may have to edit my post. I’m ok, I was writing as a positive resilience thing, thinking I’d be OK with it. But turns out I should keep clear of writing anything from cancer land! 😁 ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Cherilyn says:

    Hang in there…seems odd to leave a like for a post where you are obviously having such a hard time. But it took a lot of courage to write it and publish it, so the like is for that. Strength to you too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen says:

      ❤️ I’ll be OK, there’s a reason why I gloss over writing about such things… thanks for the support xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Cherilyn says:

        I know. Sucks to be vulnerable especially in front of who knows who might be watching (hence the courage) but sometimes….it can also be overwhelming and you just have to let it out in order to get it out of your system. But yes, you will be okay. You are resilient and resilient people don’t know how to stay down lol. We keep getting right back up again because that’s what we do.

        Have a good one.
        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Karen says:

        Thanks xx
        One of my favourite quotes about resilience is that when life knocks you down you simply get back up and try again.

        Liked by 1 person

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