I’ve been thinking a lot recently about gratitude. Specifically all the things in my life that I can be grateful for… I’m not going to be overly sentimental about this but in amongst the crap there are some real jewels, whether it be people, places or experiences, or things that I enjoy simply for what they are, such as music, ice cream and sleeping!
At difficult times in my life I find myself almost drifting into a state of disbelief that what is happening is happening, and instead believe it’s just a dream (nightmare) and the reality is something better, easier, happier. This sense of disbelief has always turned my attention away from the bad experience (trauma/distress) and made me see the good things in life, as though if my brain acknowledges enough sunshine then it will gloss over the rain… looking for the blue sky behind the clouds.
But the rain still falls, the clouds still obscure the blue sky/sun, and the bad thing is still there, no matter how much you want to wish it away.
Regardless of the origin of my glass half full approach to life, it hasn’t helped my mental health because it means the trauma wasn’t dealt with appropriately at the time (or at a later date) because it wasn’t happening, it wasn’t real… it was neatly packaged away in a box marked “DO NOT OPEN“. Those boxes sit gathering dust in the dark recesses of my mind given only a cursory glance when something triggers it.
My poem today (Step Away) talks about wanting to step away from difficulties to find peace and that is what I do in practicing gratitude. I step away from my problems, away from life’s monumental pile of crap, and gaze at a gorgeous sunset, watch clouds move across the sky, smell the blossom and revel in the beauty of the world, in the kindness of people, in a smile or a comforting hug, in a warm summer breeze, or pure white snowfall.
Taking notice of and appreciating the good things, makes me feel that the world isn’t such a bad place after all.
* this post was intended to be about gratitude but it kind of drifted, so I just went with the flow! 🙂