An early morning for me as I appear to be wearing my insomniac head today! There is a reason for this, and it’s that today is my Race for Life day; you may remember I had planned to do RFL last month but had to reschedule due to having concussion. So, my RFL is now today.
I am excited and anxious in equal measure.
Excited to join the masses of participants country wide who run (and raise money) in support of Cancer Research each year. Excited to be a part of it. Excited to have my first real experience of running a 10k race, instead of running my own 10k.
Anxious about the number of people who will be there. Anxious about feeling trapped in a crowd. Anxious about being on my own when so many other people will be running in groups.
But mostly anxious about the emotions that RFL may trigger in me.
I genuinely feel I’ve moved a long way past the mere mention of cancer dragging me back to a state of intense fear, and I certainly don’t live with the pervasive sense of uncertainty about my health anymore.
But RFL is a huge thing.
It’s not just a nice run through the woods with a bunch of like minded runners, it’s a run through the woods with women who have battled their own cancer, who may still be undergoing treatment, who may have family and friends that they’ve lost to cancer (in all reality who doesn’t?), mothers, daughters, sisters, wives.
Cancer touches everyone in some way.
Today I will be surrounded by the reality that cancer destroys lives, that no matter how healthy, fit, or happy a person is, cancer is always a possibility and it kills. So, understandably I’m anxious.
RFL is a huge step for me in confronting my fears. The fears that I’ve so securely placed in a locked box in the darkest depths of my mind. In running today I want to show my fears that I am stronger than their hold on me.
I Race for Life for a future where cancer can be prevented or cured.
I Race for Life in memory of those we have lost and for those left to grieve.
I Race for Life for everyone who has battled their own cancer and those who continue to do so.
I Race for Life for me.