Be your own inspiration

Just supposing you had cancer and chemotherapy was advised.  So you have chemo and it affects your eyesight which means you are unable to continue in the job you love, the job that is your reason for living.

What then?

Do you feel lucky to be alive, grateful for the treatment that saved your life but also destroyed it?

How can you move on from this?


An overheard conversation prompted this post.  My immediate thought was “but you’re still alive, surely being alive outweighs anything else?”  But then I remembered how infertility destroyed everything that I wanted and how cancer destroyed any belief I had in my future.  I remembered the pain, the disappointment, the guilt, the hopelessness.  I know this is not directly comparable as infertility/cancer were not random side effects from life saving treatment but my sense of loss was in all likelihood similar.

I’m regularly called inspirational because of what I’ve lived through and what I’ve achieved despite (or because of) adversity.  But, what choice is there?

Depression is not a choice.

PTSD is not a choice.

The loss of certainty in my own health, the fear of cancer returning, the seemingly unending spiral of hopelessness and despair… not choices.

The world that you thought you knew, the future that you thought you had, gone in an instant.  In just one moment your life changes for ever… and you know there’s no way back.  You mourn the life you’ve lost and the hopes you had.  But the only real option is to move forward.

Take what you can from the experience.  Take your mental strength.  Your knowledge.  Your determination.  And make a new world for yourself.  A new future with new hopes and new dreams.

Looking back can be hard, but looking forward can be harder still.  Stepping into your uncertain future with any amount of faith will be difficult, but you can do it.

The future is uncertain for everyone.  What matters most is how you approach it.

Be awesome.  Be inspirational.  Be you.

Love, K x

Comments

15 comments on “Be your own inspiration”
  1. Em says:

    Thanks for being inspirational x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen says:

      aw thank you xx ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. calmkate says:

    Karen I totally love this and will send a link to Natalie, she has yet another specialist appointment tomorrow so who knows if and when she will get time to check it out .. but thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen says:

      Thanks Kate, it’s a difficult time when you’re stuck in the middle of it and I can only imagine how your friend will be feeling facing it yet again. My shiny positive attitude would certainly waver.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. calmkate says:

        thank you so much for understanding Karen, it’s easy for those who haven’t been tested to say such things 😦

        Liked by 1 person

  3. What inspiration Karen! You have truly suffered but somehow you are able to connect everything positively. My last few days have been rough emotionally but you put everything into perspective for me. Thank you 😊❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen says:

      I’m glad I could help. But don’t dismiss the stuff that brings you down, there’s no hierarchy of trauma… I can (and still do) fall apart at the smallest things 😦

      It’s taken me a long time to get to where I am now – coming up to 4 years since diagnosis and a little over 2 years since I finished active treatment. The last year has been the most significant in terms of my MH recovery, last July I was in a very bad place and building myself back up from crisis point has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
      Being told I had PTSD was a huge step towards understanding why I was struggling so much, my six months with psychology gave me a comprehensive insight into how trauma had shaped my life and from there things started to change. EMDR, my blog, my poetry, running, it’s all helped.
      I know I’m incredibly fortunate to be emotionally as well as I am right now, I have faith in my continued recovery and I appreciate the importance of everything I do to remain well.
      Just be kind to yourself, and always find someone to talk to when things are tough. You can email me via my contact page anytime xx Take care lovely xx

      Like

      1. You sweet lady. Thank you. I also tried EMDR last year last year

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Karen says:

        Did it help you?

        Like

      3. Oops hit send before I finished. EMDR was used to help me with a phobia. I was able to identify the source but it didn’t help me in dealing with it. I’m so happy it helped you. Thanks you for your kind words and I always reach out.
        Warm wishes
        C

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Karen says:

        That’s a shame, hopefully you will find something else is effective. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Cherilyn says:

    “The future is uncertain for everyone. What matters most is how you approach it.”

    And that’s what makes you inspirational.

    People don’t think they approach what you have gone through with the same kind of resilience. We never know what we are capable of, truly, until we are there in the thick of it.

    😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen says:

      Thank you 🙂
      When it comes down to it there is no magic wand that can turn back time and make the bad stuff disappear, we have to work our own magic!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Cherilyn says:

        Exactly. Nobody has an entirely easy life, and some get handed some very bad raw deals. We all firmly believe if it were us going through (insert something horrible someone else is going through here), we’d fold. We think we would just fall right there and die. Maybe people just don’t see themselves as strong enough to make it through, or don’t think they are capable. Truth is we all are, we just don’t know it until we are tested. You have been tested, and now you do know. That is incredibly inspiring to others.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Karen says:

        Aw thank you, lovely words xx ❤

        Like

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