I’m not ready for 2019

Three short hours, less than 200 minutes, is all the time that’s left of 2018 and I’m not ready.  I’ve finished with 2018, the past few weeks I’ve been coasting.  I’ve managed Christmas in my own disorganised way and am at peace with everything that’s happened throughout the year.  It hasn’t all been sunshine and rainbows but I’ve found a way out from beneath every dark cloud that cast its shadow over me.

I wanted to start 2019 with an idea of where I’m going.  Of what I’d like to achieve.  A plan of sorts.  However, in less than 200 minutes 2019 will be here (at least in my time zone) and I will be aimless.  So I’m not ready.

I don’t know where to start, everything feels too big, too scary to contemplate and that single first step is the hardest one to take.  2018 has changed my life and I just hope that 2019 lives up to my expectations of greatness!  I want to work on my writing – blogging, poetry, children’s fiction – I want to learn about writing.  I want to work on my social media visability.  I want to do craft fairs, but need to design a range of poetry based greetings cards first.  I want to run.  And sew.  And all manner of creative stuff.

There’s a jumbled list in my brain that I’m in danger of working on in a jumbled way.

There’s no cohesive plan, there’s not even an empty page on which to write a plan.

I haven’t had sufficient headspace to actually sit down and think about this stuff (maybe if I hadn’t been distracted by my patchwork project, or school holidays, or Christmas, or… maybe then I’d be ready.

This isn’t how I end 2018, there will be a shinier, happier postscript to follow.
But for now, Adios Amigos 🙂

Posted by

Hi, I'm Karen, creator of blueskydays365.com which is home to my poetry, art and general ramblings. I am the author two collections of poetry, 'Kaleidoscopic Beauty' & 'I am the Stars in the Sky', and the children's book 'All That Glitters' (not yet published). I also enjoy running.

8 thoughts on “I’m not ready for 2019

  1. That all sounds like very good stuff. And I firmly believe it’s easier to wrestle dreams into organized submission than it is to get your head stuck up your butt trying to look for ideas. Now there’s a visual to launch you into 2019!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. i know your condition might be difficult. i know because I’ve been there too many times in the past; however, I grew out of all that crap, and when i look back now, it seems like nothing but a challenge i had to “grow through” and become stronger. the thing is that no matter how “unready” you are, just one day in 2019 — and I mean any day in 2019 — your “unreadiness” will vanish, and all you thought you missed or lost will be restored if you can just look (and continue to look) at the positive side of the whole thing

    Liked by 1 person

      1. just keep on thinking about planning and be positive, and a way will open up for u: an idea would come.

        i had the same problem of planning some time ago, but with my not-giving-up attitude, and constant thinking about how to get ideas and plan, i found away to get focused, consistent ideas and organize my self. as i am chatting with you now, i already know what to write on that would keep me busy for a whole year. i just need to find time (which i do besides my freelance writing) to write.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. We have to make time to achieve our dreams, whether it’s get up early and make use of the extra time or send the kids out on a playdate… goals can only become a reality by being committed to working on them. All the best for 2019, Karen.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. it’s interesting to see that you already know what to do to get there. maybe you need to be more patient. your readiness for 2019 could start in a months time from now, not today; and you would still be ok. continue to seek, and you will finally find. it was nice chatting you up. i wish you the best of 2019 too. thanks

        Liked by 1 person

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