In a moment of nostalgia I’m going back in time to January 2nd 2018, the beginning of my blog, and of RED January.
This afternoon I’ve been watching the Coldplay movie A Head Full of Dreams on Amazon Prime Video – a great watch for any fan, although it does contain some swearing and shaky camera work. It’s a retrospective of the band’s first 20 years, from their early days at University College London to the 115 shows for A Head Full of Dreams world tour.
Why is this relevant I hear you ask. Well, this particular post took it’s title from the album. In RED Day 2: A Head Full of Dreams, I write, in a roundabout way, of living your dreams – you’ll have to read it to get the true essence – but the closing paragraph sums it up nicely.
“I am not a quitter, I put my everything into whatever I do, I set myself impossible challenges and impossible standards so this was not going to stop me… Ibuprofen gel liberally applied plus tubigrip bandage and I was up and out for RED day 2 with a head full of dreams and before the sun and my teenagers were awake.”
This is me and my approach to life.
I am a dreamer, an achiever, passionate, and motivated.
I didn’t know that running and writing would rescue me from depression* and turn my life around
* and of course therapy played a part too
Depression is not who I am; my glass is half-full, I look on the bright side of life… if there’s a cliche for blind optimism then I’m at the centre of it.
But depression presses the override button on sun-shiny thoughts and creates barriers which block dreams. It takes the heart of who you are and destroys it. And coming back is hard.
It’s hard when you’re surrounded by love.
It’s hard when people believe in you.
It’s hard with a team of cheerleaders rooting for you.
Because you can’t show yourself love, you can’t believe in yourself, and depression is the grim reaper felling the cheerleaders.
So, you have to have faith, you have to dream, you have to live in a fantasy world where everything is sunshine and rainbows.
And every blow that depression delivers has to be countered by hope.
And this hope has to fill your head with dreams.
And maybe, just maybe you will find a way to reach those dreams.