The wrong parent

Life with teenagers can be tough, of course it is.  They’re trying to manage the transition to adulthood, trying to carve their own path in the world, struggling with exam pressures, with friendships and romantic relationships, with self-esteem and confidence, with social media and all its negativity.  As a parent you try to do the right thing – over and over – you explain that people who troll others on social media are the ones with the problems, you advise spending less time on screens, posting less updates, being less public.  You drop hints about having showers, brushing teeth, changing socks, doing laundry.  You almost daren’t enter the dingy cave of a teenager’s bedroom, who knows when it was last cleaned but at least you get them to change their bedding reasonably regularly.  You are resented for being on their case, for nagging but in the next breath told that you don’t care.

Until.

You become numb.

Numb to the grunts that pass for conversation.

Numb to the ungrateful acceptance of the hot meal you prepared.

Numb to the attitude, the sulking, the negativity.

Empty.

Resigned.

You distance yourself.

Until you actually don’t care anymore.

You don’t expect civilised communication, except when they want something.

Because no matter what you do.

You are the wrong parent.

 

Comments

6 comments on “The wrong parent”
  1. Invisibly Me says:

    I’m so sorry you’ve had to feel like that. I can only imagine what it’s like as I don’t have children. But I have been a teenager.. thankfully, I think I was a pretty good teenager and my folks thought I was very pleasant most of the time. It must be incredibly trying and exhausting, but one day I am sure they will realise everything you’ve done for them, what an amazing mother you are, how blessed they were growing up to have someone care so much but what they saw at the time as nagging. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen says:

      I think I was an ok teenager but maybe my parents thought differently!
      We’ll get through it, there’s only so much that’s under our influence, so what will be…
      Hope your weekend is good xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It doesn’t matter what age they are … I feel the wrong parent. My daughters 37 and nothing I do or say is ever right. I now don’t bother and numb is a good description.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen says:

      Sorry that you’re still experiencing this xx

      Like

  3. sadiewolf2014 says:

    I hear you. However bad ìt does pass.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen says:

      Yes, they can’t be teenagers forever!

      Liked by 1 person

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