For too long have I been blaming my weight gain on my running injury and while in the early days of injury this may have been true it certainly is not the only cause eight months down the line.
I eat too much junk, specifically sugar.
I eat through boredom.
And as a social activity.
I could look back on the number of times I’ve said enough is enough, it’s time to do something about it. And maybe for a few days I eat more healthily and snack less but then I just go back to the sugar.
Sweet foods bring me comfort, make me feel better about whatever it is that’s making me feel bad. Apart from when I step on the scales, and sigh, and know that the reason I’m pushing 10st is because of the sugar… and then it doesn’t bring me comfort.
Also, it feels like my routine has been severely disrupted since forever, and although I have good intentions these are buried under day to day stuff, and thwarted by a lack of organisation. A lack of commitment. And by temptation.
Last night, as I lay in bed feeling bloated from a day which consisted of more snacks than meals, I decided that I have to deal with this, so I wrote a plan.
I got up.
I had a smoothie for breakfast (sweet potato, courgette, banana, blueberries, hazelnuts, cacao, and pumpkin seeds) as per plan.
I meal prepped – huge bowl of quinoa salad with spring onions, cucumber, tomato, avocado, apple, beetroot, mint and lime juice – for next week as per plan.
I sliced up a melon for easy snacking, again on my plan.
I had baked sweet potato and vegetable chilli for lunch (meal prepped last week) – yup on the plan.
Nut roast, new potatoes, carrots and cabbage for dinner, very nice and on the plan.
All very healthy.
But then there was the off-plan vegan chocolate brownie that we’d made for Father’s Day. There was no way on earth I was going to pass on a slice of that. And then did I refuse the chocolates my hubby offered me this evening? Of course not.
I know it’s not the end of the world and I know that there was more good than bad, but here I am once more thinking I don’t have the discipline to lose the 14+ lbs that I want to lose and silently praying for some kind of miracle.
Vegan Chocolate Brownies
Cook 130g plain flour with 240ml water over a low heat until it forms a gluey paste. Leave to cool.
Mix together 200g brown sugar, 200g white sugar, 1tsp vanilla extract, 1tsp salt, 95g cocoa powder, and 120ml vegetable oil.
Stir in the cooled flour mix, ensure it’s well mixed.
Add 130g plain flour, 1/2 tsp baking powder (plus any chocolate chips, nuts etc if you want to). Mix to combine.
Bake in 25cm square tin for 25 minutes at 180 degC.